I want to completely empty my brain. Seriously.

I have moments like this throughout the semester. That’s why if you look at my library statement right now, you will see 20 rentals ranging from Tudor monasteries after Dissolution to Yellow Journalism to the diaries of early American midwives–and a Bollywood film called “Bride and Prejudice.”

When it all gets to be a bit much, some people play video games. Others go golfing. I go running, listen to music, write,drive, hike, take a shower, play the piano…and watch a chick flick.

They are frivolous, unrealistic, outlandish…but it’s Valentine’s Day, so I’m allowed to say they are also wonderful. So raise your glass of peppermint tea (that’s what I’m drinking) to chick flicks. With their at-the-altar changes of heart, constant falling for the wrong guy, female protagonists who always do the wrong thing and scripts that sound like sound lyrics. Are they dumb? Yes. But there are surprising bits of smart in there. Only something real could inspire so much fakeness.

This year, the finalists on the  MARTHA CHICK FLICK LIST are as follows:

1. Sweet Home Alabama

Why it’s crazy: We’re supposed to believe you left Josh Lucas? Really?

Why I love it: It’s weird that my favorite chick flick is about a couple that’s already married, right? But they fight, fuss and fume, but they know everything about each other–and love each other just the same.

Best Part: Lightning on the beach.

True Confession: I cried the first time I saw the coondog graveyard scene. And I never cry in movies.

Best Quote:

Melanie Carmichael: The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.

2. The Princess Bride

Why it’s crazy: Um. Just watch it.

Why I love it: Because it’s a movie that seems to be completely setting out to make a farce of fairy tales, then ends up being one.

Best Part: The fire swamp–she’s so incredibly unhelpful that I have to laugh. Oh, and her clothes. They are great.

True Confession: I’ve never seen the torture scene. I always fast forward it.

Best Quote:

Buttercup: You can’t hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.

3.Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Why it’s crazy: “OK, man that I hardly know. Come into my apartment. I’ll also climb into yours up the fire escape. And OH, my name is actually Eula May.”

Why I love it: I love the “point” of the movie. She’s so scared of going for love because she doesn’t want to lose her freedom–but she realizes there’s little freedom in living for yourself.

My Favorite Part: I watch the whole movie for the end. The rest is just ok.

True Confession: The first time I watched it, I hated it. The second, time, it jumped up to my top three favorite movies.

Paul Varjak: You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

4.Win a Date with Tad Hamilton

Why it’s crazy: How on earth does she not see her boss loves her?

Why I love it: Typical “crazy unattainable guy falls for normal girl” plotline with a twist: she chooses the other guy over him.

My Favorite Part: The smiles line gets me. Everyone wants to be liked for who they are and not what they do.

True Confession: I skip parts of this movie. It’s a bit too raunchy for me.

Best Quote:

Rosalee: I can’t go with you Tad, because you don’t love me, you maybe want to love me. But I think what you love right now is the idea of me. You can’t love someone for what they stand for or seem to be. You have to love them for their details, for the little things that are true of them and only them.

5. A Walk to Remember

Why it’s crazy: Because obviously everyone with values wears ankle-length skirts and sweaters.

Why I love it: Because they make each other better. And the girl gets the guy without compromising who she is.

My Favorite Part: The song. Yes, I admitted it.

True Confession: I didn’t see this movie until I was 21. I had a list of things to do before I die, had “have a star named after me” on that list, and went stargazing every night. When I saw it all in the movie, I felt completely embarrassed and mad at Mandy Moore for committing plagiarism. Upon reflection, it’s unlikely that she did.

6. Pride and Prejudice

Why it’s crazy: Because Pemberley would make you willing to marry just about anybody. Especially if your alternative was living with Mrs. Bennet.

Why I love it: Because it’s my favorite book and an awesome story with witty dialogue. Both characters are willing to admit being wrong about a lot to be right about what matters.

My favorite part: It depends on the version. The BBC one: When she looks back from the carriage leaving Pemberley. The Knightly one: When the girls are scrambling to clean up for visitors. Done that so many times.

7. She’s the Man

Why it’s crazy: Let’s be real–this is just a dumb movie. For starters, nobody is going to think Amanda Bynes is a man. Ever.

Why I love it: Because it is guaranteed to get rid of any excess intelligence I’ve gained at school during the month. And it’s our traditional sister movie at least twice a semester.

My favorite part: The stupid lines and ridiculous things that happen to her.

True confession: I think it’s confession enough to admit I like this movie.

Best Line: There is really nothing worth repeating.

8. Emma

Why it’s crazy: Could anyone really be that bad at matchmaking?

Why I love it: Because she falls in love with her best friend.

My Favorite Part: Her pretty pink archery get-up. Sigh.

True confession: I once referenced the book in an SAT essay.

Best Line: Mr. Knightley: Maybe it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another.

9. The Wedding Planner

Why it’s crazy: Because the likelihood of two different people standing up two different potential spouses on the same day is well…unlikely.

Why I love it: 1. She’s Italian 2. She’s a wedding planner.

My Favorite Part: Massimo’s proposal. So cute.

True confession: I have always rooted for Massimo.Wrong choice, Jlo. Wrong choice.

Best Line: Massimo: Love can’t always be perfect. Love is just love.

10. Sleeping Beauty

Why it’s crazy: You touched that just because she told you to?! And you are 16?!

Why I love it: This is my favorite animated film. I’ve loved it since I was a little kid. The music, the story…everything. And Prince Phillip was my first crush.

My Favorite Scene: When they meet in the forest. It’s one of my favorite scenes in film.

True confession: I drink out of a Sleeping Beauty mug in my bathroom.

Best Line: Flora: Thou sword of truth, fly swift and sure, that evil die and good endure!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

 

Thanks for the photos…

http://www.animatedheroes.com/phillip.html

http://www.newmoviesgossip.com/j-los-most-popular-movies/

http://www.fanpop.com/spots/shes-the-man/images/7937188/title/shes-man-screencap

http://www.myprideandprejudice.com/2009/07/mr-darcys-proposal/

http://justchickflicks.com/2010/05/jane-austen-the-queen-of-chick-lit/

http://favim.com/image/42367/

http://www.haro-online.com/movies/win_a_date_with_tad_hamilton.html

http://felixnadarroom.blogspot.com/2010/03/breakfast-at-tiffanys.html

http://www.chud.com/26474/chud-list-sacred-cows-of-hollywood-day-18/

http://himynameisemily-ilovemovies.blogspot.com/2011/06/sweet-home-alabama-2002.html

http://www.readbreatherelax.com/follow-friday-fave-book-characteractor/

If my life is a novel of which I am the heroine, this week’s chapter had a lot of plot twists. And yes, I just used that analogy so I could call myself a heroine.

Have you noticed that life doesn’t like to go quite how we planned it?

It’s not that I’m an eternal optimist who expects everything to work out positively and the way I planned. Some things don’t catch me by surprise: I know that if I sneak out of the house in my high school sweats to buy myself medicine at Kroger, I will run into every attractive person I know. I know that if I’m watching a two-year-old,  he will knock over the only glass of grape juice in the entire house.

But some things catch you completely by surprise. This week was one of those weeks that I was continually blindsided. In fact, I was actually blindsided by the fact that I made it through the week, too.

I started out  by losing my voice in time for two professor/student conferences, two interviews, and my first-ever conference call. I’m not talking about a husky voice. I’m talking about “please stop talking that sounds like it hurts and you’re scaring  me” voice. My speech therapist sister was having fits. Then I gave the bug to her. Not how I envisioned things going.

Monday: I never exactly plan for 8 a.m. interviews to be fun, but I definitely didn’t plan for me to make it to the Midway City Council meeting by the skin of my teeth after absent-mindedly driving to Frankfort.

Tuesday: I had four possible dates in the semester to schedule an in-class presentation on Pocahontas for my women’s history class, and picked at random March 22. Two hours later I learned that I would need to be on a flight to North Carolina that day.  Not in the plans, kids. My professor let me reschedule–to this Tuesday. So I’ll be spending this weekend with Pocahontas instead of my friends.

Wednesday: I learned that the guy I am teaching dance classes with for 60 high schoolers tore his ACL. Really?

And my perfect birthday plans for Daddy didn’t involve me breaking his toe when I left out weights for him to trip over.

Thursday: I showed up to what I thought was going to be a low-key breakfast for 20 people after agreeing to talk about a program I’m involved with on campus. It ended up being a gathering of 100 university leaders. I had to use a mic. 

Friday: My day started early with an 8 a.m. thesis meeting and two cups of coffee. I hadn’t expected my studying the night before to go so late that I would crash on a friend’s couch for 3 hours of sleep. I also didn’t expect the two cups of coffee to keep me studying all day until my 2 p.m. class. After my class, I was surprised to look in the mirror and see the hairstyle I had been sporting all over campus. It was standing straight up, which is saying something when your hair is this straight. I looked something like a wet baby chicken.

So life doesn’t go how we planned it. But maybe we’re just poor planners. Hindsight may be 20/20, but our foresight stinks.

In the words of Jewish theologan Abraham J. Heschel,

“The course of life is unpredictable. No one can write his autobiography in advance.”

And would we really want to write our autobiography’s in advance? Would we want to know what’s coming? Not to sound fatalistic or depressing, but look at some of the things that have happened to you so far. What would you have done if you had seen those things coming? My guess is that if we knew everything that was going to happen in our lives, even if it was all good, we would be pretty overwhelmed.

The silly, unimportant things that took me by surprise this week reminded me of something that’s actually pretty important to remember during this phase of life. As I’m considering my next steps after graduation–where I’m going to live, what I’m going to do, who I’m going to do life with–it’s easy for me to feel the pressure of making all of the right decisions. In our increasingly scheduled and regimented world, it’s easy to associate perfect plans with perfect lives. We admire go-getters who plan and achieve. I get that and have done my fair share of falling into that. But what about the people who have really bad things happen to them? Did they just not plan well enough? Of course not. You don’t know everything that’s coming “just around the riverbend” (sorry, Pocahontas on the brain).

Whatever plot twists are coming next, I know God will get me through. He always has. I might get frustrated that I don’t know everything about my future right now, but it’s really best that way. If I had known I would fry the heck out of my leg, would I have gotten on that unforgettable Malaysian motorcycle? If I had known what retribution was in store, would I have pulled off some of my best pranks?

Any journalist will tell you that a story without conflict probably isn’t worth telling. A movie without the unexpected makes people fall asleep. And a life without plot twists?

Well, that’s not much of  a read.